Fifty Shades of Crap.
When I first finished the Twilight series and was looking around for something similar, I happened upon the fan fiction sites. I refused to read this then because I think that anyone who can’t come up with their own set of characters to write about in a novel is an idiot. Not long after I noticed that Fifty Shades was available as an eBook on Amazon. I also saw it on the shelves in Barnes and Noble. Everyone started talking about it and raving about it so I thought maybe I was wrong. I downloaded it to my Kindle and started reading.
First off, the author might as well have called the characters “Bedward” and “Ella”. He has tousled, copper-colored hair, gray eyes, he’s wealthy, drives fast sports cars, he’s the gorgeous bad boy. She’s a brunette, shy, nervous, awkward, trips over her own two feet, no self-confidence; she’s a misfit and thinks no one notices her. Seriously? She couldn’t even change the basics about the characters?
I read the first twelve chapters (39% through, page 151) and can’t go any further. Can you delete something from your Kindle? What an awful mess this book is. Everyone jokes about how horribly written the Stephenie Meyer books are – this is worse. At least Meyer’s books are readable. This is squirm-worthy. When she uses his toothbrush, ick. When he drinks the wine and spits it out into her mouth while she’s blindfolded, ick. So far, he’s only tied her up a couple of times and slapped her once. I haven’t even gotten to the scenes in the Red Room of Pain yet, and I can go no further. The Christian character is a controlling, sick freak, and she’s a sad, desperate moron to think he’s worthy of her attention. Who would sign a contract agreeing to what she is contemplating agreeing to? How about for safe words we use “nauseating” and “garbage”?
Seriously, don’t waste your time or your money on this dreck. There are so many other good books out there to be read.
